Elgazabel, Lidbury win UK 70.3

There is something apt about the way that the wickedly tough Ironman 70.3 UK is held at a spot that is in a dark hole beyond the reach of the internet and the usual modern communications. Normally any Ironman or Ironman 70.3 race makes available the results and splits and offers quotes from the winners within minutes after the race is run and dispersed like lightning to satisfy the voraciously instantaneously Attention Deficit Disorder curiosity of modern triathletes.

Not the dragon’s lair that is Wimbleball Lake and its evilly hilly ups and downs that sap the strength of merely excellently athletic humankind. Just like the days when reports of mortal battle were made by surviving messengers dispatched to faraway palaces, so these meager results escape the jealous clutch of this singularly off-the-grid nightmarish marsh.

How tough was Ironman 70.3 UK? In an era when Ironman 70.3 winners regularly traverse the 1.2 mile swim, the 56 mile cycle, and 13.1-mile half marathon in 3 hours 40 minutes or less on courses best suited for ordinary mortals, the man who first escaped the horrors of this spooky track did so in a timeless manner of heroes of centuries ago when clocks were never the true measure of an athletic challenge.

Four hours 25 minutes and 15 seconds it took Spain’s triathletic El Cid – Mikel Elgazabel — to win the honors within this Dismal Swamp of a course. No less of a hero was England’s knight of the swim-bike-run – Stephen Bayliss – who crossed the line with a profound sigh of relief just 75 seconds later, grateful not for the runner-up’s wreath of glory – but simply to have survived. The star-in-becoming Martin Jensen, the Prince of Denmark Triathlon in-waiting, took third another 48 seconds later — likely haunted by the aerobic dangers he had narrowly escaped.

As for the fairer sex, none were tougher and more resolute than Englandls own Emma-Kate Lidbury. While fellow Briton, Dame Julie Dibens, has proven in faraway Florida that women can negotiate this length of triathlon in less than four hours, Wimbleball crowned its noble women’s winner for her 5 hours 1 minute and 1 second journey to hell and back. Just 48 seconds later, Ireland’s Eimear Mullan emerged alive and grateful to be done in second place. The final spot on the women’s podium belonged to the United Kingdom’s fair Lucy Gossage, who found her way through the mists and moors another 1 minute and 54 seconds later.

To receive this report sooner than the usual month it takes officials to wend their way out of the Wimbleball miasma, Slowtwitch has to thank last year’s second place finisher Tamsin Lewis, who came to witness the heroism she so wisely forsook to repeat, and managed to scribble some places and times down and found her way back to civilization on the very day of the event! As reported by the website with typical British understatement, Lewis’s messengering was no easy feat. “As always, Wimbleball is something of a communications blackspot, but thanks to last year’s second place finisher Tamsin Lewis who is watching today and trying to find the only bit of connectivity in the area, the top finishers at Ironman 70.3 UK today are as follows…”

Ironman 70.3 UK
Wimbleball Lake, United Kingdom
June 19, 2011
S 1.2 mi. / B 56 mi. / R 13.1 mi.

Unofficial Results

Elite Men:

1. Mikel Elgazabel (ESP) 4:25:15
2. Stephen Bayliss (GBR) 4:26:30
3. Martin Jensen (DEN) 4:27:18
4. Nick Saunders (GBR) 4:28:15
5. Daniel Halksworth (GBR) 4:30:17
6. Tukka Mietinnen (FIN) [time not available]

Elite Women

1. Emma Kate Lidbury (GBR) 5:01:01
2. Eimear Mullan (IRL) 5:01:49
3. Lucy Gossage (GBR) 5:03:43
4. Simone Benz (SUI) 5:01:18
5. Samantha Warriner (NZL) 5:09:35
6. Yvette Grice (GBR) 5:11:43