Back from the brink
Kevin McDowell is just 21 years of age, but he has already had a lifetime’s worth of joyous ups and soul shattering downs.
The Geneva, Illinois native was a cross country star in high school and took to triathlon when he was 12. By 2009 he was the USA Triathlon junior triathlete of the year and placing 4th at the ITU Junior World Championship. In 2010, he was a 2-time USA Triathlon Junior National Champion and won bronze at the ITU Junior World Championship. In March of 2011, he placed 10th at his first professional race, the Clermont, Florida ITU sprint. A week later, doctors ordered an MRI of a lump in his neck and found it was a tumor. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a form of blood cancer, and his whole happy world was put on hold to undergo five months of chemotherapy.
When that treatment series was over, he had dropped from 154 pounds to 139 and could barely finish USA Triathlon Elite Academy swim workouts he once led. While McDowell was far too weak to race, longtime friend Lukas Verzbicas dedicated his victory at the 2011 ITU Junior World Championship in Beijing to his still recovering U.S. teammate. “I feel like Kevin would have definitely won that medal,” said Verzbicas before that race. “If I could bring it to him, I have to do it.”
As fate would have it, McDowell was in the same bike workout in July 2012 when Verzbicas crashed and suffered life threatening injuries. Drawing upon his own experience, McDowell offered emotional support and advice during Verzbicas’ long recovery.
While he made excellent initial progress and scored a 5th place finish at the 2012 Dallas ITU Triathlon Pan American Cup in February, McDowell soon found he had done too much too soon. During a series of worsening finishes, he fell into a downward spiral of exhaustion and weakness. Following the advice of his coaches and doctors, he stopped training and went into a long period of rest aimed at a full and permanent recovery. After a long, careful gradual return to fitness, McDowell started back to racing this year – and surprised everyone with a win at the FISU World University Games in April and a silver medal at the ITU World Cup in Chengdu.
Slowtwitch: What did your win at the FISU World University Triathlon Championships April 20 do for your confidence?
Kevin McDowell: The FISU win certainly helped give me some confidence, but more than anything it confirmed I am back on the right track. It shows all the training and time I have spent fighting cancer these past months (and years) are starting to pay off. We are progressing at the right rate for me right now and chipping away a day a time.
ST: How did that FISU race develop?
Kevin: We knew it was going to be a race of patience. The race was in Brasilia and it was very hot and humid and the bike course had a big climb and then the run had a hill each lap. The key would be not burning all your matches too early. I came out of the water with the main group and was in good position from the start. That set me up to ride in the lead group after a couple kilometers when we caught the two Brazilians. At that point, it was a matter of staying out of trouble and in the front pack. Near the end, [fellow U.S. competitor] Chris Braden made a break and, after a lap, a Brazilian [Wesley Matos] joined him. At that point I did not go to the front as I didn’t want to chase down a teammate. Starting the run I stayed patient and chipped away at the lead and caught them within two laps. From there I stayed in control and was able to come away with the win.
ST: After your FISU win, how were you feeling coming into the May 10 race in Chengdu?
Kevin: I was excited to go to Chengdu, but also a little hesitant at first. I knew a World Cup is a new level of racing compared to Continental Cups. In the beginning of the season we weren’t even talking World Cups, so when I found out I would be doing it I didn’t know what to think. I never imagined myself racing a World Cup this early and I don’t think my coaches did either. But by April I was up for the challenge and my coaches believed I was ready to have a crack at a World Cup.
ST: Did the long trip to China take anything out of you?
Kevin: While the trip to China was long, I was very fortunate to have an incredible support staff and teammates there. Our coach Jarrod Evans, who had been to Chengdu the previous year, was there and his knowledge and expertise made the transition extremely easy. We were also very fortunate to have USA teammates Chelsea Burns and John O’Neill there a couple weeks before we arrived. They raced in a Continental Cup two weeks before and flew to Chengdu to train before the race. When the rest of the U.S. athletes arrived, they knew the lay of the land and that made the trip a lot easier. Without Chelsea and John and Jarrod, it would have been a lot more draining.
ST: What were your expectations coming into Chengdu?
Kevin: I didn’t have any expectations about results. I was given the opportunity to race and I wanted to maximize on that. The whole goal was to execute the race to the best of my ability and learn what the next level of racing is like.
ST: Why were the Chengdu run splits so much faster than Brazil [31 minutes vs. 37 minutes]? Looks like you and Wian Sullwald put up run splits fit for a WTS race.
Kevin: Both races and courses were very different. Before any race, I don’t focus on times, but rather on how I need to execute the race to maximize my performance. Yes, it is always nice to see a fast time, but in the end the place is what matters. WTS racing is a whole new level compared to World Cup racing. I don’t think it is useful to compare times on any course and say, “I ran this fast, so that means I would have placed here in this race.” Every race is different and involves different tactics throughout.
ST: Tell us about the back and forth with Sullwald as you approached the finish.
Kevin: My coaches instructed me not to get too crazy starting the run and get caught up going too fast too early. I know a lot can happen in a 10k and I had to be smart. At 5k, I was feeling good, so I went to the front and started pushing the pace. After the 3rd lap [7.5 k] it was down to a group of five. I was still feeling in control and didn’t want to come to a sprint finish with five guys, so I threw in another surge. Eventually it was just myself and Sullwald. From there I threw in more surges and really worked to gap him before the finish. However, I was unable to do so and he sprinted past me on the final straight to take the win.
ST: Did you have mixed feelings – frustration at the loss, pride at the race you ran?
Kevin: I was in a state of shock at first and I’m still, in a sense, in disbelief. Going into the race I never talked with my coaches about the possibility of really racing for the win. I just focused on executing to the best of my ability and taking whatever opportunity was there for me. As it turned out, the opportunity for the win was there and I went for it. I just fell short. It always stings a little when you come that close. But I was proud of the race I ran and look back at it with no regrets. More than anything I was excited to talk it all through with my coaches and parents. They have been with me through all the hard times and it was a very special moment I wanted to share with them as they are the reason I was able to do what I did.
ST: How did you arrive at this level of fitness after years of cancer treatments?
Kevin: A lot of people helped me get back to this level of fitness. [USA Triathlon coaches and officials] Jono Hall, Bobby McGee, Chris Baker, Eric Lawson and Andy Schmitz all played important roles. I was very fortunate to have support from everyone who never pushed me to come back to racing too soon and risk my body breaking down again. They all said I needed to fully utilize this opportunity to work on what really needed work before I had cancer. I now see I had been given a second life and had a clean slate to remold myself into the new and improved Kevin.
ST: What aspects of your game did you start to work on?
Kevin: I was working on skills and technique, and I began to slowly regain fitness. We just started checking things off the list one step at a time. Once they felt I was ready to do more training, we slowly added more work. We stayed very aware of how my body was handling the gradual buildup and made sure not to do too much. Things started progressing faster at that point, which brings me to where I am at now. I would be lying if I said that time was easy. There were many moments I wanted to be doing more and what everyone else was doing. But I had to learn that hard word known as Patience. It is something I’m still learning and will always be learning.
ST: Looking at your race results since 2009, I see you were out of action during your chemotherapy in 2011 and had some success in 2012. Why were there no ITU results in 2013?
Kevin: In 2013 I had to take a step back from the sport and, in a way, hit the reset button. I was very motivated to come back to racing after completing treatment in 2011. However, I wasn’t fully aware at the time how much of a toll it took on my body. I was able to have a little success in 2012, but then my body started to give out and mentally it was tiring. I kept trying to push on and eventually dug myself in a big hole. After a lot of back and forth, we concluded I needed to let my body rest. I went from training to basically just exercising. For about five months I only did an hour of activity a day. It was all very easy and not always triathlon-related. Looking back, this was the best decision. After five months I felt fully energized and a new person physically and mentally. It was then I was ready to start the slow build to start pursuing my passion again.
ST: Talk about your friendship with Lukas Verzbicas. You obviously pushed one another to greater heights by training together and rivalry in races.
Kevin: Lukas and I really benefited from our time training and racing together. We were able to achieve a lot more working together before my diagnosis than we would have alone. Through that, we developed a good friendship and had fun together through the years. We have now gone different routes with training environments, but we still stay in contact and it is fun to catch up at races with him.
ST: What did you do when you heard about Lukas' bike accident?
Kevin: I was there when the crash happened. We were out doing a morning session and I came up to him a couple minutes after it happened. At first I was speechless and didn’t know what to think. I was in disbelief and wanted to help in any way I could. I knew it was serious when he was describing how much pain he was in and that he couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t know just how serious it was. I found out later everything that happened and immediately called his dad, [stepfather Romas Bertulis] my coach at the time, to see what I and my teammates could do.
ST: Did you wonder about your parallel fates – encountering such serious medical problems and the hard recovery that entailed?
Kevin: Never in a million years would I have thought this would have happened to us, and especially so close together. We were both faced with serious medical problems with long, hard recoveries. The fact that they were so close made it that much more unimaginable. We were faced with a very tough couple of years and I am grateful we both made it through the worst and are back living our lives.
ST: What support did you offer Lukas during his recovery?
Kevin: Before his extensive surgery, I was able to visit him for a minute. I brought him one special coin I received before my treatment. The coin was marked with part of the verse from Isaiah 40:31. It was very meaningful to me as I received it the day I was diagnosed. I was talking to a school back home and afterward one boy came up and gave me this coin. He then said a prayer over me. Two hours later I was told I had cancer. I kept that coin with me until I felt Lukas needed it and passed it on to him.
ST: How did you continue your friendship?
Kevin: Throughout his recovery I was there as a friend and wanted to be there for support when I could. I was very open for him to come to me whenever, as I could relate to a lot of what he was going through. I knew a lot of the feelings he was experiencing and I made sure he knew it was OK to just let out what was going through his head. One thing I did was try to bring him food he wanted every time I visited as hospital food gets old really fast.
ST: Now that you and Lukas Verzbicas are back on track, are you looking forward to racing against your friend soon?
Kevin: I am looking forwarding to racing with Lukas again soon. Sarasota PATCO was a lot of fun racing alongside him the whole time [Verzbicas was 8th, one second and one place ahead of McDowell]. In the middle of the race I had a quick thought, ‘Wow, we have made it and are back racing and doing what we love!’ That was a very special moment for me and I am really thankful we both are back from the serious obstacles we both had to overcome.
ST: When you were hit by diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma in March of 2011, you had just come off an excellent top 10 at that sprint race Clermont. How did you deal with that shock?
Kevin: At first I did not know what to think. I was on such a high and excited — I was on track for achieving some of the big goals I had set for myself that season. It was by far the biggest high to low I have ever experienced. When I found out I had cancer, I remember exactly where I was sitting and my parents telling me the news when I got home. At that point, I didn’t know the type of cancer I had, or how serious it was. I was in a state of shock to say the least. It took me a while to fully process what was going on and what I had ahead of me, but I was prepared to do whatever it took.
ST: How did you cope with fears that your career might be over?
Kevin: That thought never really crossed my mind. After I was diagnosed I met a lady in the hospital who was going through treatments herself. She told me to live my life as normally as possible throughout the treatments. That statement really stuck with me and at no point did I allow myself to think “Why me?” or feel sorry for myself. I was focused on doing everything in my power to get through the
treatment.
ST: How weak did the chemo make you – and how tough was the gradual, lengthy nature of your recovery?
Kevin: Through the beginning treatments, I held up fairly well. But by the end they started to take a toll and I became quite weak. I received six months of chemotherapy and would go in every other week. Throughout the chemo treatments, I always deemphasized what I was going through. I knew I was battling a serious illness, but so are a lot of other people. In the early stages I still did a lot of my MMTT’s [Multisport Madness Triathlon Team] practices back home [in Illinois]. The farther I went through stages of treatment, the weaker I became. I went from training with my teammates to just going to practices and helping out with the younger kids and the coaches. That is one thing that helped me a lot and made me feel normal.
ST: What was the cycle of emotions during treatment?
Kevin: It turned into one week of feeling the worst I have felt followed by a week of feeling more normal. It was always hard as I would start to feel better by the second week and then I would have to go in for another treatment and start feeling very rough again. It was a tough cycle, but thinking about that good week got me through the tough ones.
ST: How did you feel about your 5th place finish in your return to competition at the Dallas Pan American Cup in 2012?
Kevin: I was very excited, and thought I was on my way back. But at that time I did not realize the toll that took on my body. I got excited with how things were going and I did my first World Cup in Edmonton the following month. That race went very poorly and I went into a down spiral.
ST: What did the doctors tell you?
Kevin: My doctors told me it would take me 2 to 3 years to be back to fully competing, but I was determined to make it shorter. They had told me a lot of things I wouldn’t be able to do through my treatments, but I did a lot more through my treatments than they had thought. In the end, my body just never fully recovered from the treatments and it took me some time to realize that I had no choice but to take an extended recovery time to get healthy.
ST: What happened to your 2013 season?
Kevin: After taking a month off between the 2012 and 2013 seasons, I started to build into decent shape and anticipated a better season. But I started spiraling down and I just couldn’t figure out was wrong. I thought I was on the upswing, but after some evaluations, I learned my body was still not right and I needed to take a step back from the sport. Shortly after, I had a meeting with Jono Hall, Bobby McGee and Andy Schmitz and talked through everything that had been going on in my head. After some discussion, we agreed taking a break was the right decision. They said I had to commit to this plan of recovery and not do it halfway, which would just knock me back to the square one. From that time on, I committed to letting my body fully recover. Just an hour of working out a day max — and only if I felt like it. The only set thing I did was strength work three times a week to rebuild the muscle I had lost.
ST: What did you do to occupy yourself during that period of rest?
Kevin: That summer I took a full course load at school to keep me distracted while I stepped away from triathlon. In that time, I had blood work done and periodic evaluations to see how my body was responding to the rest. In the end, it responded better than I could have hoped. I was physically and mentally in the best place I had been in a very long time. After five months of rest and recovery, I met with Jono, Bobby and Andy again. We concluded that after doctor approvals and evaluations, I was ready to start my comeback to triathlon for real.
ST: When did you return to fitness close to your capability?
Kevin: It was a very slow process. We were very careful with my training load approaching 2014. We were not concerned about performance, just keeping me healthy and not making the mistakes we made the previous two years. We used this time to remold me into a new athlete and a new and improved Kevin. The whole goal was to have a consistent year of training and build myself for the future. We didn’t know when my first race would be and weren’t concerned about that. I was just happy to be back training. The passion was back more than ever and confirmed my love of triathlon and the lifestyle. As things progressed, the Sarasota PATCO sprint in March was the perfect race for me to come back.
ST: How did you feel about your 9th place finish at Sarasota?
Kevin: When I got to that race on March 9, I felt as if I had already won. It was a big day for me as I had been diagnosed with cancer exactly 3 years before. I had the biggest smile that day and was so excited and grateful to be back racing. It was very special too because so many of the people who had been with me on this journey were at that race. It had been a long road back and I was truly in a good place physically and mentally. My result was an added bonus and got me excited for the future. I knew my body was in a very healthy state and I had a lot more to give. After that race I had my routine cancer scans and received the news I was still cancer free (after 5 years I am considered cured).
ST: You ran 31:05 at Chengdu and it looks like you are ready to compete in some WTS races. Is your game ready for that step up?
Kevin: I have a lot of respect for the level of competition and I feel I still have a lot to learn. That said, I am racing in my first WTS in London May 31. Once again, I never imagined myself racing a WTS this year. But given the opportunity, I trust in my coaches and I am looking forward to racing at the highest level. It will be a big step up from Chengdu, but I am looking forward to learn from the best.
ST: Do you have some optimism because you feel you have a lot more in the tank?
Kevin: I am very optimistic for what the future holds. I have had a lot to overcome and I have a whole new appreciation for the sport and life in general. My struggle has made me a stronger person and I have learned a lot about myself. I am truly living the dream I have wanted since I was young. I feel like I am just starting again, even though I have been involved in the sport for a long time.
ST: As I understand it, USAT elites often serve as mentors to the up and coming juniors and Under 23 triathletes. Has anyone provided guidance for you?
Kevin: Yes. I’ve had incredible support and guidance from USAT elites as well as some international athletes. USAT elites Jarrod Shoemaker, Matt Chrabot and Hunter Kemper have all helped and continue to do so. Jarrod reached out to me right away and would check-in with me throughout my treatments and after. He was in Chengdu and he was extremely helpful in providing guidance and, in a way, taking me under his wing. Both Matt Chrabot and Hunter Kemper were in Colorado Springs when I was living there and they were always giving me advice and sharing their experiences with me and my teammates. This past year Hunter was really great when I was going through all my trials. He has had a lot of ups and downs and having him there to talk things through was great. He became more of a friend to me through those times and I am very appreciative for all he has done.
ST: How has your brush with a life threatening disease affected you?
Kevin: It has really changed my outlook on life. I have learned that that your whole existence could change in an instant and life is too short to stress about the small things. I still get anxious from time to time. But when I do stress, I just think back to all I have been through and how grateful I am to be where I am right now.
ST: Why do you think you recovered?
Kevin: There are many reasons why I recovered the way I did. The main one is all the incredible support I had from all areas of my life — from my family, friends, teammates, coaches, the doctors and nurses and my church. One group that was especially important to me at that time (and still is) was my MMTT family – Keith Dickson, Romas Bertulis and all the kids and parents on the team. Having their support and friendships meant so much to me while I was going through chemo. To this day they remain some of my best friends.
ST: Any other important support?
Kevin: There is one special organization that helped with my recovery. Cal’s Angels are a local charity in my hometown. [Geneva, Illinois] They grant wishes to kids who are dealing with cancers like Leukemia or Lymphoma. They reached out and gave me an iPad which was a lifesaver throughout my treatments, especially when I was sick in bed. Along with my parents, they provided a lot of support and I am still in touch with them. They are a charity I hope to repay them as that iPad and all the support they gave me made a big positive impact.
ST: What is the part of your game you have most targeted for improvement?
Kevin: The biggest target for my improvement is my health. As long as I am healthy and having fun, the improvements will come. I do the best when I am happy and in positive mindset. But who doesn’t? I am truly grateful that I have been surrounded with great people who are making all this possible.
